A rose for your Pocket Part 3

In Vietnam, on the holiday of Ullambana, we listen to stories and legends about Maudgalyayana, and about fifial ove, the work of a father, the devotion of the mother, and the duty of a child. Everyine orays for the longevity of his or her parents, or if they are dead, for their rebirth in the heavenly Pire Land. We belive that a child without fifial love is without worth. But fifial devotion also arises from love itself. Without love, fifial devotion is just artificial. When love is present, that is enough, and there is no need to talk of obligation. To love your mother is enough. It is not a duty, it is campletely natural, like drinking when you are thirsty. Every child must have a mother, and it is totally natural to love her. The mother loves her child, and the child loves his mother.

The chils needs his mother, and the mother needs her child. If the mother doesnt need her child, nor the child needs his mother, then this is not a mother, this is not a child. It is a mususe of the words mother and child.

WHen i was young, my teachers asked me "WGat do you have to do when you lave your mother?" I told him "I must obey her, help her, keepng then ancestral altar when she has disappeared forever behind the mountain." NOw i know that the word 'WHat; in his question was superflous. If you love you mother, you dont have to do anything. You love her ; that is enough. To love your mother is not a question of marality or virtue.

Please do not think I have written this to give a lesson in morality. Loving your mother is question of profit. A mother is like a spring of pure water, like the very finest sugar cane or honey, the best quality sweet rice. If you do not know how to profit from this, it is unfortunate for you. I simply want to bring this to your attention, to help you avoid one day complaining that there is nothing left in life for you.

If a gift such as the presence of your own mother does not satisfy you, even if you are president of a large corporation of king of the universe, you probably will not be satisfied.

I would like to tell a story. Please dont think that i am thoughtless. It could have been that my sister didnt marry, and i didnt become a monk. In any case we both left our mother - one to lead a new life beside the man she loved, and the other to follow the ideal life that he adored. The night my sister married, my mother worried about a thousand and one things, and didnt even seem sad.

But when we sat down at the table for some light refreshments, while waating for my inlaws to come for my sister, I saw that my mother had not eaten a bite. She said "For 18 years she had eaten with us and today is her last meal here before goignt o another family's home to take her meals."

My sister cried, her head bowing barely above her head and she said "Mama, I wont get married." But she married nonethessly. As for me, I left my mother to become a monk. To congratulate those who are firlmy resolved to leave their families to become monks, one says that they are following the way of understanding, but i am not proud of it. I love my mother but I also have an ideal, and to serve it I have to leave her- so much the worse for me.

In life, it is often necessary to make difficult choices. we cannot catch two fish at the same time, one in each hand. iT IS difficult because if we accept growing up, we must accept suffering. I dont regret leaving my mother to become a monk, but I am sorry I had to make such a choice. I didnt have te chance to profit fully from this precious treasure. Each night I pray for my mother, but it is no longer possible for me to savor the excellent ba huong banana, the best quality nep mot sweet rice, and the delicious mia lau sugar cane.

Please dont think that I am suggesting that you not follow your career and remain home at your mother's side. I have already said I do not want to give advice or lessons in morality. only want to remind you that a mother is like a banana, like good rice, like honey, like sugar. She is tenderness ; she is love: so you, my brothers and sisters, please do not forget her. Forgetting creates an immense loss, and i hope you do not, either through ignorance or through lack of attention, have to endure sch a loss. I gladly put a red flower, a rose on you lapel, so that you would be happy. That is all.

A rose for your Pocket Part 2

In the West, we celebrate Mother's Day in May. I am from the country side of Vietnam, and I had never heard of this tradition. One day, I was visiting the Ginze district of Tokya with Monk An, and we were met outside a bookstore by several Japanese student who wre friends of his. One discretely asked him a question, and then took a white carnation for her bag and pinned it on my robe. I was surprised and a little embarrassed. I had no idea what this gesture meant, and I didn't dare ask. I tried to act natural, thinking this must be some local custom.

When they were finished talking (I don't speak Japanese), Thien An and i went into the bookstore, and he told me that today was what is called Mother's Day. In Japan, if your mother is still alive, you wear a red flower on your pocket or your lapel, proud to still have your mother. If she is no longer alive, you wear a white flower. I looked at the white flower on my robe and suddenly, I felt so unhappy. I was as much an orphanas any other unhappy orphan ; we orphans could no longer proudly wear red flowers in our buttonholes. Those who wear whoe flowers suffer, and their thoughts cannot avoid returning to their mothers.

They cannot forget she is no longer there. Those who wear red flowers are so happy, knowing that their mothers are still alive. They can try to please her before she is gone and it is too late. I find this a beautiful custom. I propose what we do the same thinng in Vietnam and in the West as well.


Mother is a boundless source of love, an inexhaustible treasure. But unfortunately, we sometimes forget. A mother is the most beautiful gift life offer us. Those of you who still have your mother near, please dont wait for her death to say , "Oh God, I have lived beside my mother all these years without ever looking at her closely. Just brief glances, a few words exchanged - asking for a little pocket money or one thing or another." You cuddle up to her to get warm, you sulk, you get angry with her. You only complicate her life causing her to worry, undermining her health, making her go to sleep late and get up early. Many mothers die young because of their children. Throughtout her life we expect her to cook, wash and clean up after us, while we think only about our grades and careeres.

Our mother no longer have time to look deeply at us, and we are too busy to look closely at her. Only when she is no longer there do we realize that we have never been cansious of having a mother.

This evening, when you return from school or work or, if you live far away, the next tme you visit your mother, you may wish to go into her room and, with a clam and silent smile, sit down beside her. Without saying anything, make her stop working. Then, look at her for a long time, to realize that she is there, she is alive, beside you. Take her hand and ask her one short question to capture her attetion, " Mother, do you know something?" She will be a little surprised and will probab;y smile when she ask you "What dear?"

Keep looking into her eyes, smiling serenely, and say "Do you know that I love you?" Ask this question without waiting for an answer. Even you are thrty or forty years old, or even older, ask her as the child of your mother. Your mother and you will be happy, cansious of living in eternal love. Then, tomorrow, when she leaves you, you will have no regrets.

A rose for your Pocket Part 1

The thougth 'Mother' cannot be seperated from that of 'Love'. Love is sweet, tender and delicious. Iwthour love, a child cannot flower, an adult cannot mature. Without love, we weaken, wither.

the day my mother died, I made this entry in my journal : "The greatest miisfortune of my life has come!" Even on old person, when he loses his mother, doesn't feel ready. he too has the impression that he is not yet ripe, that he is suddenly alone. He feels as abandoned and unhappy as a young orphan.

All songs and peoms prasing motherhood are beautiful, effortlessly beautiful. Even songwrites and pots witthout much talent seem to pour their hearts into these works, and when they are recited or sung, the performers also seem deeply moved, unless they have loss their mother too early even to know what love for mother is. Writings extolling the virtues of motherhood has existed since the beginning of time throughtout the world.
When i was a child, i heard a simple poem about losing your mother, and it is still very important for me. If your mother is still alive, you may feel tenderness each time you read this, fearing this distant yet inevitable event.



that year, although i
was still very young
my mother left me,
and i realised

that i was an orphan. Everone around me was crying,
i suffered in silence...

allowing the tears to flow,
i felt my pain soften.
Evening enveloped Mother's tomb,
the pagoda bell rang seewtly.

i realized that to lose you mother,
is to lose the whole universe.

We swim in a world of tender love for many years, and without even knowing it, we are quite happy there. Only after it is too late do we bacome aware of it.

People in the countryside do not understand the complicated laguage of city people. When people from the city say that mother is ' a treasure of love ', that is already too complex for them. Country people in Vietnam compare their mothers to the finest varieties of bananas of to honey, sweet rice or sugar cane. They express their love in these simple and direct ways. For me, a mother is like a ba huong banana of the highest quality, like the best nep mot sweet rice, the most delicious mia lau sugar cane!

There are moments after a fever when you have a bitter, flat taste in your mouth. Only when your mother comes and tucks you in, put her hand on your burning forehead ( Is it really a hand, or is it the silk of heaven?), and gently whispered, "My poor darling!" do you feel restored, surrounded with the sweetness of maternal love. Her love is so fragrant, like a banana, like sweet rice, like sugar cane.

Father's work is enourmous, as huge as a mountain. Mother's devotion is overflowing, like water from a mountain spring. Maternal love is our first taste of love, the origin of all feelings of love. Our mother is the first who teaches us love, the most important subject in life. Without my mother, i would never have known how to love.

Thanks to her i can love my neighbours.
Thanks to her I can love all living beings.
Through her I acquired my first notions of understanding and compassion.

Mother is the foundation of all love, and many religious traditions regonize this and pay deep honor to a maternal figure, the Virgin Mary, the godess Kwan Yin. Hardly an infant has opened her mouth to cry wothout her mother already running to the cradle. Mother is a gentle and sweet spirit who makes unhapiness and worries disappear. When the word " Mother" is unttered, already we feel our heart overflowing with love. From love, the distance to belief and action is verys short.

Shame on you!

went to newstation to buy refiller for my correction tape and a note book. went to school. saw renne, ee ling they all practising at the tree. ( no not dave, or mumu.)
then lavanya ( sorry of wrong spelling) joined us.

went to class. k.h. went to narnia. we saw a goat on a motorcycle.XD

we sat at the one and only table. not one and only, as in a special tabe, different form others. then hui ching was using someone's maarker to draw stuff on her book and then passsed it to belles and stella. then they were drawing some *ahem* stuff.
then exited narnia. went to the canteen. drank milo+teh. not bad la. =)

then hang out with ka yi, yu wan, jess lyn an sue ee. after that, enlish. went to the apd room. teacher taught us about summary. he also told us that he tried smoking at the age of ten.

*tsk tsk* shame on you!.

then seni. supposed to draw a poster to promote something. mine is to promote my bookshop that i just currently opened at narnia, "mars bookshop''. be sure to drop by whenever you visi narnia. thank you!

went to ballet. spent aROUND 15 MINUTEDS TO fix the radio.

bla bla

went home. went online. chat with my sexxyyy friends. then went offline. gotta rest my eys. bathed. then wrote a song about my mom and an am=nimal. you can just imagine how stupid it is.

and my mom's gonna burn the tip of my pen cuz its jammed and he said its gonna work. so we'll wait and see.


waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting




ok, it didnt work. so have to buy a new pen.






jill

what a day!

today went early to school for the so called 'cheer leading' practise. first to reach. saw one of Amanda's group. then jalan jalan. saw Amanda, Audrey. then finally belles.

put our bag down. then the leader took us out to the oncidium park? its a park opposite our school. then they just simply warm up and wanted us to start. belles had to go back to school to take the choir picture.

she changed and we saw hui ching talking to... Amelia? she was so glad to see us. ;) before that, Isabel borrowed one of the girl's phone. *forgotten her name* to call her mom to fetch us at 11. but then it was her kakak that answered and she wasn't very sure that will her mom believe her.

we quickly walked outside cuz it's kinda creepy that all the form 3,4 and 5 were so humongous. saw Catherine coming in. used her mom's phone to call Belle's mom again. not long, Isabel's mom came. she drove us to the padang there.

we saw lots of girls sitting on the grass, not doing anything. then Hui ching was so freaking mad that she went up to them and asked them what was going on. she asked me to follow and when she was scolding them, i was just standing there.

XD

not long, belles and her mom came down. one of them saw bells in her prefect uniform and she was like "shit! prefect!" and kicked the tree. then later they said that they had the teacher's permission already. if you had teacher's permission, why are you so scared of the prefect?

then later they explained and stuff. they said the competition's one month away! yup, seriously, ONE MONTH! and when Isa's mom asked them to show it. they were just doing some simple moves and stuff.

some of them are from khe beng, my primary school, and on our graduation day, one class performed cheer leading with 'girlfriend'. and they somehow copied it.

please! if you wanna go into the competition. you have to be so much better than that. can they even do spilts, hand spring, bridge, tossing people in the air and cathing them perfectly?

they so need to professional coach. and exams are coming. it's just a last minute thing.

went back home. ate some fried rice and some of ching's spaghetti. i frank more than i ate. rest for a while. went to school. apparently, there's english practise.

o.o

during moral, we took picture. then went back to class. talked to teacher. NO penalty for the stupid door thing! so nina, you dont have to worry.

itcl. teacher didnt copy any notes. then kaverr was crying too. cuz of some lying girl. but youre innocent babe! no worries! smile babe! =D

oh and when teacher sukumaran was taking picture, he wore his suit. then kaverr told him that he looked smart. the i whispered to kaverr " looks sexy." wrong move. actually im just kidding. dun think im those who marry old guys for their money.

kaverr told teacher. his eyes were so bulgy that it looks like it may be able to pop out and second now.

KAVERRNA! you're so gonna get it!


ballet. my ballet class is actually from 730 to 830, then the teacher said gonna change to 730 to 9. no!!! i cant bear it! too tired laaaa! and we practised a little for the concert. there were like so many knee banging on the floor moves.


p
pa
pai
pain
pai
pa
p
pa
pai
pain
pai
pa
p
pa
pai
pain
pai
pa
p
pa
pai
pain
pai
pain
pai
pa
p








~wont somebody try to save me?
wont somebody come take me home? *come at 830 if u wanna save me. in taipan, FAB.*
*sing to avril 'im with you'*

lol. XD





now the not edited one.

~But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open~






Jill~

school

went to school earlier for the speech thingy practise. teacher sukumaran couldnt find a empty classroom so he took us exploring the school. the paper we were holding was the guide. renee and i were like "ok, as you can see this is 3 Nervilla and you also can see the teacher teaching some students."

lol

the we practised for a while in the bilik sejarah. before that, nafieq, belles, jaz, porvin and i were talking and suddenly nafieq asked whther was i wearing ..... . the thing that after somebody takes off his/her braces. isabel... what you all that?

anyway, belles was explaining it and i kept on asking whether do they talk weird and belles said "yes." so i went "that means i talk weird?" belles said "no, he's just pure evil."

seriously babes dude... do i talk weird?

then we practised. i wasnt really paying attention and i didnt hear qao minn said "scream" so now, when u talk to me, better talk louder!

then, went to class.

noooooo! sejarah!

they bentang-ed something. trying not to fall asleep. then, hui ching sat beside renee at the end of the class and pn. purvanesh said to do something special when we bentang so that it'll be more interesting and when its more interesting, you'll like the subject and when u like the subject youll get good marks in it.

hui ching and renee were coughing. and the teacher was looking at them. i cant stop laughing. until now, i still laugh about it.

LOL!

then recess. hang-ed out in dewan terbuka.

then, geo. copied some notes. went to toilet with dina. say gynett, shawne and shane. smiled at gynett. *<--- correct spelling arh?*

then we practised the speech. maths. did our homework. science. teacher didnt come, so we practised some more. the strong wind kept blowing the door in and dina and i triend to push it out and then the door just broke.

yeaa... it all happened in a slow motion. the dina said we gonna get penalty.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


im really sorry guys. i mma talk to teacher later. i dun FREAKING CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

went back. hui ching blew her musical instument thingy and 2 teachers were following behind us. then we were "coughing" again. lol

went back.


oh, and we (belles, ching and i) joined cheerleading.


ginnie a 't'
gimmie a 'e'
gimmie a 'a'
gimmie a 'c'
gimmie a 'h'
gimmie a 'e'
gimmie a 'r'
gimmie a 's'

gimmie a 'a'
gimmie a 'n'
gimmie a 'd'

gimmie a 's'
gimmie a 'e'
gimmie a 'j'
gimmie a 'a'
gimmie a 'r'
gimmie a 'a'
gimmie a 'h'

gimmie a 's'
gimmie a 'u'
gimmie a 'c'
gimmie a 'k'
gimmie a 's'




what do you get?
teachers and sejarah sucks!
but not every teacher.



jill









*im very sorry guys!*

yesterday

ok erm... not going for cinese class anymore!

then... went to blikik bahasa during siviks. we're have to recite a poem or something like that during assembly. teacher read out 2 essay that was written by qao minn.

wowie! she rock!

then discuss how to change it a little laa...

went back. ate. watched afv. those people were stupid. as in like doing stupid stuff. XD

then went dancing. wasnt in the mood for dancing. reacg home at 1030? went online for a while. checked my email. wrote back to miss choon, my ballet teacher who is now in london and is getting engaged!

i said " we'll go to mcd again and blast the place down with our hotnees!" cuz before she went to london, she took us to mcd.

haha
wonder what her reaction is.

chatted. bathed. sleep.
feeling kanda lazy ...again!

so bye babes/dudes!








do
you
even
know
that
i
exist?

ballet exam

today was my ballet exam. i was woken up by my nightmare. here goes : some how, a parking lot is haunted and i was there too. and there were many people flying around. OH, did i mention that i became a guy? i managed to run out of it and when i saw few mean looking guy, i pretended to be dead. to make sure that i wont go around telling everyone about this, they carved my foot into some weird shape.

then somehow, i met this girl (I'm still a guy) and we fell in love. then those mean looking guys were after me and i carried the girl, running around my neighbourhood. the running around my neighbourhood part was so vivid.

then i woke up screaming for my mom. my brother was watching something on his ipod and he was scolding me (i think). then i slept on the sofa.

the next time i woke up was eight. our neighbour brought some raw roti canai and my grandma had to fry it.

mm-mm mm. so much more better than those from the stall.

then i bathed. my mom tied my hair into a bun. packed everything and left the house. sms-ed tzyy jee, my ballet friend. saw miss yong and priya in the classroom. warmed up and tzyy jee came.

warmed up some more and shermei came. then, the first group came up.

oh no!

we prepared and the examiner ringed the bell. we went in, said good morning, put our stuff by the side and did the exercises on the barre.

moved to center. that's when the horror began. there was one exercise with four balances. i wobbled for all but one. ain't that sad?

D:

but for the others, i did kinda good. i mean the balances. for the other exercises. then changed to character. last to finish changing. cuz i was so smart to forgot about the exam and cut my fingernails. but still managed to take it off.

then, the exam ended! *wheew* i really hope i can get a distinction.



gotta go people.


bye!





loves,



Jill









:: a dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes of designer clothes. a water log stick will do just fine. a dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, smart or dumb. in their heart, they'll give you this.

how many people can you say that about? how many people can make you feel rare and special?how many people can make you feel EXTRAORDINARY? ::



*adapted from Marley and Me*

yesterday and today

YESTERDAY


~ followed teacher out. didnt know why at first, then found out later. pn. rafeah asked us to help her change the banner from the basketball competition to the penyampaian hadiah. it was so feaking sunny that time. i think its around four something. we kept pestering pn. rafeah to bring us to 7-11 to buy us SLURRRRPEEEEE but she said she had only three bucks.

D;

then erm... harish and alex went up first, but we ( dina and i ) rest in the dewan terbuka. some teachers were arranging the chairs for tomorrow (which is saturday) and they asked us to help. so we help lo.

erm... then seni... just copy some notes. then hui ching came over. i think she was singing 'that;s not my name' by 'the ting-tings'. maegan and renee find it disturbing cuz the singer's like shaking her head? not shaking la... erm... nodding real hard.

i didnt notice that.

and hui ching did that too.

lol

her hair was flying all over.

then ee ling showed us the choral speaking paper.

hui ching started with "good morning ladies and gentlemen..."

renee changed it to " good morning ladies and getlemen, pondans and aquas, gayyyys and lesbos and our disgusting judges."

hui ching continued. our title for today is "s*x"

followed by me. "first u get n*ked"

"then *toot* *toot* *ahem* censored."

"then the'll be lots of sounds."

that was really perverted... but... oh well

then time to go back. then somebody started pushing the other body and the other body started pushing some other bdies and hui ching's big strong muscular butt came and *thwock* hit me in the stomach.

it actually hurt!

i started seeing lights, stars.

hui ching! how do you keep a big strong muscualar butt? any secret formula?




TODAY




~ went shopping for mother's day presents with sue ee and mei poh. first, we bought my mom's presents. i bought her a t-shirt that costs RM 29.90. then bought sue ee's mom's present. she bought a hangbag and costs RM 35? then makan.

we went to pizza hut. i forgotten how we strated talking about the topic, but sue ee whispered the word 'condom'. mei poh was like "CONDOM ar?" we were laughing and covering our face, pretending not to know her. but that wont work right?

you dont know somebody and you're talking, laughing and sitting together with her?

then paid the bill and went some where in pyramid to meet lam feng. i dont even know him but sue ee and mei poh likes and adores him. while he was like talking, i sat in front of Speedy, watching whatever movie was on.

then i looked for her and they were lining up for lam feng to sign their poster. and sue ee was talking to a stranger. i whispered to mei poh, "whos that?" and she said sue ee's new friend.

the guy just approached them and asked sue ee whether they had any picture of him. then, they were exchanging pictures and videos. the guy asked sue ee to wait for him after signing to exhange more pictures.

but after that, we totally forgotten about it. we took some pictures. as in like at the shop there. we took twice! cuz mei poh had a ticket and the second time was half-price.

then bought present for mei poh's mom. then went mcd.

we were really fooling around and mei poh and i kinda spit some coke out. we were laughing so hard. i know, it's dissssgusting but... we cant help it. and sue ee said she got pe. but she drank cold water. then mei poh was like . "you got PE....?"

we were doing that cover-your-face-thing again. xP

fetched mei poh back. while waiting for my dad, mei poh and i saw some people from the radio station 988. (sue ee went back already) and they were asking questions and giving out some prizes. we got some.

ate dinner. went back. waited for my aunt and family to come back from their dinner.




*whew* real tiring. especially when i was wearing high heels. gotta sleep earlier. ballet exam's tomorrow.




signing off.


z
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zzz
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zzzzzzz
zzzzzzzz
zzzzzzz
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zzzzz
zzzz
zzz
zz
z
















They call me 'hell'
They call me 'Stacey'
They call me 'her'
They call me 'Jane'

That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name

yesterday

havent been updating for weeks. feeling kinda lazy. went to school as usual. there's a basketball tournament held in our school, so we have to kumpul in the canteen. urghh! its so hot!

yesterday, yesterday, yesterday. choral speaking competition. our school lost but work harder next year, babes!/dudes! you can do it!

ching yi, mun ling, renee and i were fooling aileen, teaching her the wrong chinese. she have a high pitched laugh, something like jui ching's hyena laugh.

recess. michelle had sun burn!

geo teacher didnt come, so we watched 'The Host'.

there was one part where the dad went to kill the monster himself. his look before leaving his family was so chun. his son told him that there's one bullet left, but actually there were none. then the dad turned around and gave one last wave at his family before being killed by the monster. some military people got to his dad and the careless son -the one telling there's one bullet left- couldnt bear to leave him and ran back to his dad's side.

i nearly cried at that part. and we were just in time to go home.
























some part of my life is missing, some part of it i perfect.

some part of it is screwed and torn up, some part of it is perfectly nailed and sewn.

3 days

31/3/09

my dad's car got dented by mat rempits. my dad was on the way to pick me up when the accident happened. he was cornering and i guess those mat rempits couldnt control and banged into my dad's car. the tyre was flttened and there was a really huge dent and the left side mirror flew to who-knows-where. so my dad got down. the motorcyclist had a really deep cut until he can see the bone. my dad only managed to copy down his nnumber plate. then he went to the police.

1/4/09
april fool!
i got fooled a few times. i brought my stabilo coloureed pen to school and it was leaking. and my baju also kena. luckily my mom didnt scold me. and one guy passed by. he looked into our class and continued walking. so i was like 'watcha looking at.' i didnt mean for him to hear, but when i said that, another guy followed behind him and was looking at me! or at our class. so i was saying watcha looking at to the second guy.

omgeeee!

2/4/09

we have a family tree!

i'm the dad and ee ling's my honey and she gave birth to hui ching and hui jing, which is renee. but renee is 2 days younger than hui ching. mun yee is our long-lost daughter. so, ee ling actually gave birth to triplets. dina is my mother-in-law.
nina and stella are my sisters. and somehow, they got married and belles and jazryn are their daughters.