A rose for your Pocket Part 3

In Vietnam, on the holiday of Ullambana, we listen to stories and legends about Maudgalyayana, and about fifial ove, the work of a father, the devotion of the mother, and the duty of a child. Everyine orays for the longevity of his or her parents, or if they are dead, for their rebirth in the heavenly Pire Land. We belive that a child without fifial love is without worth. But fifial devotion also arises from love itself. Without love, fifial devotion is just artificial. When love is present, that is enough, and there is no need to talk of obligation. To love your mother is enough. It is not a duty, it is campletely natural, like drinking when you are thirsty. Every child must have a mother, and it is totally natural to love her. The mother loves her child, and the child loves his mother.

The chils needs his mother, and the mother needs her child. If the mother doesnt need her child, nor the child needs his mother, then this is not a mother, this is not a child. It is a mususe of the words mother and child.

WHen i was young, my teachers asked me "WGat do you have to do when you lave your mother?" I told him "I must obey her, help her, keepng then ancestral altar when she has disappeared forever behind the mountain." NOw i know that the word 'WHat; in his question was superflous. If you love you mother, you dont have to do anything. You love her ; that is enough. To love your mother is not a question of marality or virtue.

Please do not think I have written this to give a lesson in morality. Loving your mother is question of profit. A mother is like a spring of pure water, like the very finest sugar cane or honey, the best quality sweet rice. If you do not know how to profit from this, it is unfortunate for you. I simply want to bring this to your attention, to help you avoid one day complaining that there is nothing left in life for you.

If a gift such as the presence of your own mother does not satisfy you, even if you are president of a large corporation of king of the universe, you probably will not be satisfied.

I would like to tell a story. Please dont think that i am thoughtless. It could have been that my sister didnt marry, and i didnt become a monk. In any case we both left our mother - one to lead a new life beside the man she loved, and the other to follow the ideal life that he adored. The night my sister married, my mother worried about a thousand and one things, and didnt even seem sad.

But when we sat down at the table for some light refreshments, while waating for my inlaws to come for my sister, I saw that my mother had not eaten a bite. She said "For 18 years she had eaten with us and today is her last meal here before goignt o another family's home to take her meals."

My sister cried, her head bowing barely above her head and she said "Mama, I wont get married." But she married nonethessly. As for me, I left my mother to become a monk. To congratulate those who are firlmy resolved to leave their families to become monks, one says that they are following the way of understanding, but i am not proud of it. I love my mother but I also have an ideal, and to serve it I have to leave her- so much the worse for me.

In life, it is often necessary to make difficult choices. we cannot catch two fish at the same time, one in each hand. iT IS difficult because if we accept growing up, we must accept suffering. I dont regret leaving my mother to become a monk, but I am sorry I had to make such a choice. I didnt have te chance to profit fully from this precious treasure. Each night I pray for my mother, but it is no longer possible for me to savor the excellent ba huong banana, the best quality nep mot sweet rice, and the delicious mia lau sugar cane.

Please dont think that I am suggesting that you not follow your career and remain home at your mother's side. I have already said I do not want to give advice or lessons in morality. only want to remind you that a mother is like a banana, like good rice, like honey, like sugar. She is tenderness ; she is love: so you, my brothers and sisters, please do not forget her. Forgetting creates an immense loss, and i hope you do not, either through ignorance or through lack of attention, have to endure sch a loss. I gladly put a red flower, a rose on you lapel, so that you would be happy. That is all.